


Paint It, White

by Polarnacht



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alec Lightwood-centric, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Canon, dealing with grief/mourning, mention of minor/oc character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:55:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27147646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Polarnacht/pseuds/Polarnacht
Summary: Shadowhunters die young. And though it is a well-known truth, Alec has a hard time coming to terms with it while he prepares for yet another funeral.
Relationships: Alec Lightwood/Jace Wayland
Comments: 8
Kudos: 28
Collections: Hunter's Moon 500 Prompts





	Paint It, White

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the HM 500 prompt Paint.
> 
> Title inspired by the song "Paint It, Black" (Rolling Stones)
> 
> A huge thank you to Jessa for being my beta 💙

****

**Paint It, White**

Shadowhunters died young. It was a well-known truth.

Alec couldn’t count the times he had stood in front of a pyre, watching the body of a friend or co-worker burn. He couldn’t count the times he had stood there as the Head of the Institute, searching for the right words to say to soothe the pain of the next of kin. A pain that couldn’t be soothed anyway. But he tried. Every time. He tried to say something nice. Something meaningful to give the family something to hold on to. To make sense of something that just didn’t.

Alec rubbed tiredly over his face. He didn’t know how to do this again. He knew he had to, but he just didn’t know how. He hadn’t even known Gino so well. Gino had been at the Institute for just a couple of months before he met his final fate.

Alec sighed when he slipped into his white shirt, trousers and jacket.

_For death and mourning the color’s white._

Sometimes Alec wanted to paint the whole world white. For everyone to see that yet another Shadowhunter had died. Too sudden, too soon. Too random.

“Hey.”

Jace’s soft voice interrupted Alec’s thinking.

“You okay?” Jace came up behind him, sliding his arms around him. Jace was already dressed in his white mourning gear. He looked as tired as Alec felt. His once blond hair was strained with grey. A blessing, as both knew. Not a lot lived to see their hair turn grey.

Alec leaned back into Jace, his body going pliant in the embrace. He closed his eyes briefly, before he opened them again. There was no point in hiding.

“I don’t know what to say, Jace. That he was a nice guy? It sounds so empty.” Alec turned in Jace’s embrace, pressing their foreheads together.

“There are worse things to say about someone. But I know you will find the right words, Alec. You always do.” Jace’s arms came up to Alec’s neck, brushing lightly over his Deflect rune.

“I just can’t, Jace. Not again.”

“Then let me. I’m your Co-Head.” Jace sounded sure, and for a second Alec was tempted. But then he shook his head.

“No. He and his family deserve to hear it from me. I was the one who sent him on the deadly mission, I’m the one who will say the final words.” _Ave atque vale. Hail and farewell._

“This isn’t your fault, Alec. We’re Shadowhunters. That’s what we do,” Jace said determinedly.

Alec sighed lowly. “Sometimes I wonder what they’ll say about me.”

“That you were a great leader and loved me?”

A small smile tugged on Alec’s mouth. There were worse things to say about him. He pressed a soft kiss to Jace’s lips.

“Ready?” Jace looked at Alec, interlacing their hands.

No, Alec wasn’t ready. But death never asked if you were. So he just nodded and let Jace guide him outside, where the pyre was already waiting to burn.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and Kudos are loved


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